"Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit, for without Me you can do nothing." A quote from Jesus John 15:4,5 NKJ. As I write I'm listening to The Stones " I can't get no satisfaction." It's the theme song for hard working Christians, or at least it was for me. Growing up so random when I found my purpose I ran after it. Some of that action was misguided. Sadly I did the same things with my older children trying to raise them as they were growing up. Having had a real life change as an Evangelical Christian, I wanted nothing more than to do right and raise my children to do the same. I spent much of my young Christian life being a branch trying to bear fruit of myself. With the gifts God gave me, I worked hard to navigate through life trying to make wise decisions. I would use my prophetic gifts to discern people and protect myself where need be. I would plan and maneuver always looking out for the best option. I taught my children to do the same; to be kind and to help others because that was the right thing to do. What I didn't teach them by word or example was how to listen to God or how to depend on God. In short I didn't know how to abide and I didn't teach them how either. We did a lot of works but still longed for abiding fruit. I saw this especially in my older two. After awhile they found no value in just being nice to people. As most of us know, people can be hurtful; and if you don't know why you are being nice and who wants you to be nice, you lose hope and motivation. As my children floundered spiritual I began to realize I had taught them to obey, but I had not taught them why or how.
Having a spiritual experience just might not be enough. It wasn't for me. My whole life has taught me to depend on myself. It is the way my earthly father taught me and it is the way life experiences have continued to instruct me both inside and outside the church. So why act differently? Why try to fight upstream against nature? For me, it has become clear it is the only way to become truely fruitful in life. We were created to find our source in the true vine, Jesus. When we allow Him to live in and through us, we become fruitful in a way that is impossible with human energy alone. But the difficulty comes in submitting our lives to Him. Everything in me fights against this, but the fact is I know it is right. I act and do out of relationship with Jesus. No more of doing it my way. It is both scary and safe all in the same breath. I now live out of my control. Totally a new concept to me (and very scary), but I am learning to live in Him. I didn't realize how much I resisted God in trying to serve Him. I know the plan, now get out of my way I'm here to help. I wanted His rewards my way and that doesn't work. If we want the good fruit it comes from the true source, Jesus in me and through me. When we act in response to His directives in a living way it brings living fruit. He is speaking to us all the time nudging and urging us to refect Him in a world that longs to know if He is real. And when they see it, I believe they will respond. I'm good because I am suppose to be sends a message but just not one that changes people. There isn't enough there. The word is true: apart from Him I can do nothing.............
